Shit Ideas Greenhouse Brainstorming Sessions, Food Prototyping, Critique Services & Dolls for Dads Drive Record All-time Revenue
Results Produce Record Annual Profit of $0.00 Billion
For immediate release:
NEW YORK, New York — February 6, 2016 — Great Mistakes Incorporated today announced financial results for its fiscal 2015 year ended December 31st, 2015. The Company facebook-posted record annual revenue of $0.00 billion and record annual net income of $0.00 billion, or $0.00 per diluted share. These results compare to revenue of $0.00 billion and net income of $0.00 billion, or $0.00 per diluted share, in previous year. Gross margin was infinite compared to NaN in the 2014 fiscal year.
“The Shit Ideas Greenhouse delivered Great Mistakes’ biggest year ever, thanks to the world’s absolute shittiest products and all-time record pace of brainstorming,” said Jason Paul, Chairman of the Board and renowned burglar/singer/songwriter.
“Everything is covered in danger, but everything is covered in foam,” he added, noting the positive financial outlook for the coming year.
“We taste like fruit and you know it!” said John Brieger, Great Mistakes Co-Founder and lead scent expert. “Ladies love a man who smells like pulled pork.”
Great Mistakes Incorporated is providing the following guidance for fiscal 2016:
- revenue between $200 and $500 (an infinite increase year over year)
- gross margins (really they’ll be disgusting)
- operating expenses of essentially nothing
- handmade gift exchanges providing non-zero shareholder value
- the celebration of SIGmas on 9/8/2016
We look forward to new and meaningful growth in the fast paced Dolls for Dads sector during our next fiscal year. Great Mistakes’ board of directors has declared 2016 to be “the year of projects”. We expect between five and ten new Great Mistake product prototypes to be produced this year.
This press release contains forward-looking wish fufillment exercises including without limitation those about the Company’s estimated revenue, gross margin, operating expenses, handmade gifts, and holiday celebrations. These statements involve risks and uncertainties, and actual results may differ. Risks and uncertainties include without limitation the effect of competitive and economic factors, and the Company’s reaction to those factors, on consumer and business buying decisions with respect to the Company’s products; continued competitive pressures in the fastgrowing Dolls for Dads marketplace; the ability of the Company to deliver to the marketplace and stimulate customer demand for new foods, products, and scent-based innovations on a timely basis; the effect that product introductions and transitions, changes in product pricing or mix, and/or increases in component costs could have on the Company’s super gross, like totally disgusting margin; the inventory risk associated with the Company’s need to order or commit to order product components in advance of customer orders; the continued availability on acceptable terms, or at all, of certain components and services essential to the Company’s business currently obtained by the Company from sole or limited sources; the effect that the Company’s dependency on manufacturing and Artificial Intelligence services provided by third parties may have on the quality, quantity or cost of products manufactured or services rendered; risks associated with the Company’s intergalactic operations; the Company’s reliance on third-party snack foods and digital content; the potential impact of a finding that the Company has infringed on the intellectual “property rights” of others; the Company’s dependency on the performance of distributors, pigeon carriers, bakers, artists, dads and other resellers of the Company’s products; the effect that product and service quality problems could have on the Company’s sales and operating profit$; the continued service and availability of key executives and employees; war, terrorism, public health issues, natural disasters, and other circumstances that could disrupt supply, delivery, or demand of products; and unfavorable results of legal proceedings. The Company assumes no obligation to update any forward-looking statements or information, which speak as of their respective dates.
Great Mistakes Incorporated revolutionized personal and group ideation with the introduction of the Shit Ideas Greenhouse in 2014. Today, Great Mistakes leads the galaxy in innovation with products like American Grill Doll, Framin’ Raymond, Stubble Stamps (“Not Make-up, It’s Man-Up”), and Flavor Plates. Great Mistakes’ four platforms — Bad Ideas, Worse Ideas, Spaghetti Based Computing, and Smells — provide seamless experiences across all Bumper Car Dating devices and empower people with breakthrough food services including the Djamba Juice, Caffeinated Pesto, Pie, and Pop Tart Wine Pairings. Great Mistakes’ 10 ish members are dedicated to making the best/worst products on earth, and to leaving the world stranger than we found it.